Signaling a Sense of Safety
Picture this: that email you have been dreading come in from your boss. Your heart starts beating faster, and you get slight tingling sensation in your arms. Its back…that old, that fight, flight, freeze response. And there it goes, sending signals of danger and lack of safety through the body. Cue the headache, neck pain, brain fog…
When we use the word safety, we are not only referring to the typical sense of feeling physically safe from danger, but safety for our nervous system—which means feeling at ease to connect, create, and move through our day. In the quote by Gabor Mate below, we can think of connection as connection to ourselves and our bodies, or the supportive people around us.
For survival purposes, our brains tend to default to a binary way of assessing our safety: we either are safe or unsafe. This is great if we are fighting for our lives in the forest and need to avoid being attacked, but it backfires in our modern daily lives. All of the sudden, that cryptic text from a friend, that feeling of rejection from a relative, the unknowns of the upcoming conversation at work become encoded not only as stressful (to the logic center of our brain), but also as unsafe to our survival centers of our brain (our limbic system).
Our thinking-brain (or our prefrontal cortex) responds to language and being told “it’s all going to be okay”. But our limbic system often needs additional messaging that is body-based in order to get that message. Our body becomes the language that the nervous system understands.
Here are several ways in which we can signal safety to the nervous system:
Breath: diaphragmatic breathing, alternate nostril breathing, breathwork
Posture: somatic holds, embodiment through posture
Movement: vagus nerve exercises, embodying soothing states of being, mindful walking
Language: affirming statements, helpful beliefs, soothing self-talk
Visualization: connecting to a peaceful place, visualizing soothing states of being
Connection: being in connection with soothing people (in the presence or in essence); feeling connected to ourselves/our bodies
Below is my 10 page guide that focuses on a few of the physically oriented tools we can use. Click here to access my full guide to regulating the nervous system
